Afraid of Affection

I used to be afraid of opening up to people, I was so scared of people getting to know the real me. I believed that letting someone into your heart was just offering them a chance to hurt you. Like in a battle if you let a soldier into your base you just let them kill off your troops. Part of the reason I believed this is because of the fact that everyone who said they would never leave, left. Everyone who said they would never hurt me, did. Most promises people made to me, were broken. When I fell, there was no one there to catch me. I stopped trusting, and just prepared for the pain. At least that way it wasn't a surprise, I built walls around my heart, spent most of my time alone. I buried myself in my books, art, and music.
Until sixth grade, I felt like my family didn't care about me. My parents decided I was too old for the nicknames they used to call me. They stopped telling me they loved me. My older brother used to talk to me until I fell asleep everynight my parents fought. He used to sit at the end of my bed and held me everytime my parents yelled so loud we could hear them. When he started middle school suddenly he was too cool to be the brother I could turn to for anything. It was the most depressing time in my life. It still hasn't gotten any better but I made amazing friends who seem to care about me more than my family does. I realized that throughout my life I am going to meet a lot of people who are going to try to break me, but as long as I have my friends, they won't be able to.